If you get to board a Lagos bus and after a while you hear the conductor call out “under!”, “Killer!”, ” Masha!” don’t panic, it is not the beginning of madness, he is just calling out bus-stops; so where is your stop?
There are so many humorous things that take place while traveling on a Lagos commercial bus, certain things that happen or that are said, are just enough to keep you laughing if you take a second thought at them.
For me the bus-stops in Lagos and the way these conductors call them out, gets me laughing always. So you have bus-stop like “Westminster” pronounced as “West Minister” and you can’t but laugh to tears.
There many more bus-stops which i find funny, either in their pronunciation or in the meaning of their names as it were.
Perhaps I should give you some heads-up, every major landmark in Lagos eventually is used as a bus-stop, and in the case of no major building/edifice; then the nearest Iroko tree becomes the bus-stop for the area.
This theory holds majorly for residents in the mainland, as the Lagos-Island tends to have a good number bus-stops with straight names.
Without spoiling the fun, here are some of the craziest and funniest names i have found of the lot that exist around the Lagos
Come “along”, yes, ‘along’ is yet another bus-stop’s name.
Cemetery bus stop
There are so many cemetery bus-stops across Lagos. The simple rationale for the bus-stop name, being that the cemetary located around the corner is about the most popular place to reckon with within the area. Seriously, I mean, how can you say you live at “Cemetery bus stop”?
Moshalashi means mosque, and there are major mosques in virtually every part of Lagos. You can rarely go to on any Local government are which doesn’t have a Moshalashi- bus stop.
Mechanic bus stop
There is one just after Okokomiko and like the other bus-stops, just for the mere fact that a group of automobile mechanics make one spot their workshop, it automatically becomes a bus-stop. Tell me, what can be easier to describe than a group of men with shirts soiled with so much grease.
I asked someone recently, where do you live and he said “abattoir” and I could not hold back my laughter, apparently he was referring to the popular bus-stop around the Abule Egba area of Lagos, where the Lagos abattoir is located.
Church bus stop- Along Mile 2
The name says it all, you can already guess what inspired this bus-stop located along Agboju Mile 2 (Badagry expressway).
Coconut bus stop- Along Mile 2
The presence of a long row of coconut trees gave rise to the name of this bus-stop located on your way to Mile 2. Infact, you will hear the conductors call out “Mile-2 Coconut!”, on their trips from Oshodi through iyana-isolo and down past Cele-bus stop.
Cele bus stop- Along Mile 2
Lagosians have an abbreviation for the Celestial churches, and that is “Cele” and that is the concept behind naming this bus-stop after some celestial church within.
Takuti Jesu- Ajah
It remains somewhat unclear to me why this bus-stop was named “Taku ti Jesu”, a name which basically means never letting go of Jesus. Perhaps some new form of admonition, so don’t let go till you get what you want. Somebody, must have read Jacob’s story.
Mongoro- Along Oshodi- Egbeda road
Now this is one very funny one. Just like coconut, this is supposed to be Mango bus-stop, but the conductors never fail to call it “mongoro”, I can’t forget how much i laughed the first time I deciphered it.
Ile-epo- Along Ejigbo-Ikotun road
Just along the Ejigbo-Ikotun road, is this bus-stop whose name is derived from the mere fact that a “filling-station” ( fuel station) is sited there. Ile-epo literally mean, house-of-oil (a gas station).
7/8- Along Airport Road
For as long as I have known this bus-stop, it has fascinated me, as I have tried tirelessly to solve the maths behind its name. Please if you have a clue, then let us know. Same goes for the bus-stop named 23-24.
In all honesty, I can tell you for real what the name entail. However, I am more concerned with the way it sounds when pronounced. Go on, try it, O-ni-gbon-gbo. Don’t bite your tongue.
Onipanu- Along Yaba-Ikorodu road
Unlike Onigbongo, I think Onipanu means some one who trades in aluminum and building materials. So you can be sure that there is/was a popular “onipanu” to earn it a place as a popular bus-stop in Lagos.
Alakara bus stop
If you understand yoruba well enough, then you will understand that this bus-stop was named after someone, who most likely is a woman that sells “bean-cakes” locally called “akara”.
Ogolonto- Ikorodu area
Like O-ni-gbon-gbo, I know little of O-go-lon-to, I can only say that it is located along the famous Ikorodu road. Ogolonto just has a peculiar way it sounds in the ears and as each syllable drops, smile from ear to ear.
These are but a few of the very crazy bus-stop names in Lagos. We want to hear from you, what is the name of your bus stop or the nearest one to where you live or place of work.
Let us know if they are funny and crazy and if you will be proud to tell some outside you live there.
Meanwhile, Christmas is almost here again, so you need to beware of certain spots within Lagos.
Credit: Soonest Nathaniel/NAIJ